One of my favorite bible verses is 1 Corinthians 13:11 which says “when I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man/adult, I put away childish things.” The reason this is one of my favorites is that it not only reminds me to be humble when dealing with others but it also helps me to correct myself when I want to be petty or backbiting. YES!, we all have those moments when we get out of character.

When I ask to define who you are; I am asking what do you call yourself, what do other people call you, and does that ever change?

To answer the first question “What do you call yourself?” Think about a time when you were at your highest moments in life. Did you finish a degree, have a baby, were you in love, or just got the promotion you deserved for all the hard work you had put in? In those moments we all have this aura of great energy around us and we KNOW who we are. We are overcomers, we are conquered, we are the head and not the tails and so much more!

As an overcomer of domestic abuse; mental and physical, I know all too well what those high moments feel like. The day I stood up to my abuser and moved my child and self out of harm’s way, I was on top of the world even though I had no money, no home, no car, and no job. I still overcame! I was no longer a child but I did have to move back in with my mother. I made it very clear that I was going to conquer my situation. I got a job as a substitute teacher, my sister loaned me her truck, and I enrolled my child in childcare and applied for housing assistance. Within 6 months I had everything I needed and more.

This leads me to the second question; “what do other people call you?” As a young unwed mother, I had been called a whore and a freeloader. Throughout my life I have been called alcoholic, sexual, hoe liar, egocentric, yucky, and many other negative words. On the contrary; I have also been called awesome, smart, heavenly, lovely, energetic, and youthful. My name Ashley is usually what I hear but when I listen I can also discern what others are really calling me. This is the part where I tell you that it doesn’t matter what they call you, what matters is what you answer to!

The third and final question is does what you call yourself or what others call you ever change; basically “what do you/ they call you NOW? This is probably the most important part of this assignment. Defining who you are is necessary to know what you want others to call you. READ THAT AGAIN! …Defining who you are is necessary to know what you want others to call you.

I want others to call me blessed, highly favored, anointed, kind, free-spirited, lovely, joyous, humble, and many other inspirational words. In order for me to be defined in such a manner, I must display in my actions and character those particular attributes. Even though the opinion of others is none of your business, you should consider what is said at tables you want to sit at; in rooms you want your feet to walk in; opportunities that could change your life rest in KNOWING who you are and who others define you to be. I love you, be blessed!